12 days of EMS Christmas

The 12 days of Christmas....EMS style






On the first day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... One little ol' Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the second day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... 2mg of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by taking her husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling suicidal, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself and have the big one in the driveway, 2mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... 4 in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has had the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the hospital NOW, Three stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle, 2mg of Narcan for morphine eating Momma, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Five minutes to eat! 4am shuttle call, Three stacked shocks, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the sixth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system, Five Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!!! 4 am Shuttle, 3 zaps to the chest, Gonna have a stomach pumped, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Seven car pile-up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal Mart the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo Dolls, Six reports behind, Five minutes to eat! 4am is way to early, 3 stacked shocks, 2 of Narcan pushed, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Eight flights of steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the elevator doesn't work, 7 cars a crunching, Six reports a writing, Five minutes to eat! 4 AM shuttle, CPR in progress, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Nine blankets needed to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of the house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10 seconds we are outside, Eight flights of stairs, Should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay, Six reports I'm writing, Five minutes to eat! What the Hell time is it, Should have paid the kid, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the tenth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Ten minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy figuring out who is going to lunch next, Nine blankets needed, Hope fire department is coming, 7 cars a crunching, Six reports I need to write, Five minutes to eat! Can't you wait till morning, Stick a fork in him, he's done, Man I hope she shuts up,. And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck and maintenance won't take the truck in, Ten minutes waiting, Nine blankets needed, Eight flights of steps to climb, Hope you have Progressive, Give me a new ink pen, Five minutes to eat! 4am is early, 3 leads all show he's dead, 2mg won't touch her, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the twelfth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... A 12 Gauge IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to swing at me, It's really freezing, Hope you choke on your sandwich, 9 blankets for grandpa, How did you get up here in the first place, Man your husband is gonna be pissed, Six reports STILL down, Five minutes to eat! Better than taking them back, Hope I recorded the code, Man, just pass out already, And Grandma who fell and hit her knee.

Some Paramedic quotes :)

Nobody on this planet woulld die or get injured if paramedics didn't eat.


Paramedics save lives, EMTs save paramedics

God made Paramedics and EMT's so that he can change his mind

Lies

I WANT TO TELL YOU LIES


© Kalvere. All rights reserved



I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine

I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time

I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight

I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies



You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids

I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did

You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside

I want to say you'll be OK, I want to tell you lies



You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes

I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind

You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes

I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies



I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke

If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke

Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive

Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies



I want to say she'll be OK, you didn't take her life

I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife

You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive

I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies



You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time

How could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb

I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine

I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies



I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain

Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train

I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life

I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies



You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun

Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done

You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five

I don't want to say she won't see six, I want to tell you lies



He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone

It was only for a second that you left him there alone

If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive

But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies



The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn

And we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned

Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive

But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies



But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through

And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you,

You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine

I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies



~ Kal The Rebel ~



Dedicated to all the Police Officers, Firefighters, EMTs, Paramedics,

Emergency Flight Crews and all civil servants who deal with the tragedies of

life and death. The saddest of all, being those that involve children, and

could have been prevented. Wear your seat belts... Keep poisons, flammables,

fireworks, etc. out of reach of children...Keep your smoke alarm in operating

order, if you don't have one, get one...never, ever drive if you've been

drinking ... never leave your toddler unattended...teens, be responsible

drivers, obey all traffic lights, posted limits, warnings and signals at RR

crossings ... keep your guns locked out of reach, buy a trigger guard....

Protect our children, they are our future... Am I preaching? Am I nagging? I

guess I am just telling it like it is.... Or I could just tell you lies.



~ Kalvere



© Copyrighted to Kalvere. Please do not reproduce without author's permission.



Kalvere is from Minnesota, and would welcome any comments at the KalTheRebel@aol.com



Used with permission. If you see this poem anywhere without the author's name

and copyright information, it is being used without the author's knowledge or consent

Dr Phil's Wife :)

Last night the Ems gods were out to get us again once we were jinxed by my wonderful boyfriend :) I was supposed to be off at 7 pm and it was 640 and of course what happens....107 code 3! I dont really mind being held over though because double time is worth it in this economy! Well we get to the aparment walk to the door and walk on in to find a 20 year old male walking to greet us. The first thing he says is this isn't really an emergency my toes hurt and i woke up to find them this way. His toes looked fine however his nail was peeling off of one. Everything checked out, his vitals were fine so i explained to him. What an emergency is and what the 9-1-1 system is for. I even went on to explain that there is a urgent care 1 block away. His wonderful "wife" who looked about 16 by the way began ranted that this is an emergency to him and that if he were to walk the block away he might drop dead. I assured her in my 8 years as a Medical professional i have never seen someone die from toe pain. I went on to explain an emergency is chest pain a car accident your baby lying on the floor not breathing and that this is nothing more than abuse of the 91-1 System. I let him know we would take him if he wants to go however that we would be taking only him not his "wife" as i did not want her anywhere near my ambulance with her destructive attitude and i was not about to jeopardize mine or my partners safety. Needless to say she ranted and screamed the entire time we were there only stopping to tell me that they have family in Compton and Highland. After i explained everything he got mad said get out of my house. He signed my ama I went out the door! He slammed it  in my face but not before calling me DR PHILS WIFE. Lol I have never laughed so hard in my head. My partner and I ran to the unit with our gear in tow rushed to put the gurney in and got the f out of there!

Poem I found

IN HEAVEN




The Midnight stars are shining



on a lone and silent grave,



Beneath where sleeps the one I love



and whom I could not save.



You bode no one the last farewell



You could not say goodbye.



You were gone before I realized



and only God knows why.



Oh God, please take this message



To the one I love above



Tell her how I miss her



and give her all my love

The wreck on highway 109

"The Wreck on Highway 109"




A drunk man in an Oldsmobile they said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup on 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about and blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out elegies, for death was in the air.



A mother, trapped inside her car, was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air "Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinioned hands; she struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast in grim captivity.



Her frightened eyes then focused on where the backseat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen; she did not hear them cry,

And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "Oh, God, don't let them die!"



Then firemen came and cut her loose, but when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys, but the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad and was traveling alone,

But when they turned to question her, they discovered she was gone.



Policemen saw her running wild and screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication, "Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts; their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up, "They're in my car, and they don't have a scratch.



They said their daddy put them there and gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom to come and take them home.

I've searched the area high and low, but I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene, I guess, and that is very bad."



The mother hugged the twins and said, while wiping at a tear,

"He could not flee the scene, you see, for he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked, "Now, how can that be true?"

The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came and left a kiss for you."



He told us not to worry and that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with the pretty, flashing light.

We wanted him to stay with us, because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight and said he had to go.



He said someday we'd understand and told us not to fuss,

And he said to tell you, Mommy, he's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt that what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words, "I will watch over you."



The firemen's notes could not explain the twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed, in print so very fine,

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

A Cardiac Event (Rough draft for now)

Not sure why but over the last couple weeks whatever call I start with is the call I receive all day! Last week it was assault day......nothing to great happened all the same old bs. Today however happened to be Chest pain day. Every patient today had chest pain. 8 of our 10 calls were the same old drama. I am in pain it hurts so bad i rate it a 10....but than I am going to talk on my cell phone the whole way to the ER. So sick of that crap. If you are that sick or in that much pain that you need to take an ambulance get off the freaking phone!!!!!! Our first call that is actually worth writing about was a good one! We were called for a 65 year old male with a c/c of nausea. When we arrived 13 minutes later-because we were given the wrong address a man was sitting on the couch. He appeared calm and simply states I do not want to go. From the history i learned he has a hx of atrial fib. The man was adamant about not going-he had had nausea for 2 days and some of the bystaders ie:his friends had called us. The fireman doing the assessment explained to him it is okay if he does not wat to go but that he would need to sign a form releasing us of liability and if he died (which he would have) we are not held liable. He then proceeded to stand the man up to take another blood pressure. Upon standing the man still c/o nausea ad even joked around with one of the friends. His then said he felt really bad and if we wanted him to go he would go. We laid him down on the gurney placed the 12 lead patches on and bam. He went into a rhythm called Torsades de pointe-rare i should say-then into v-fib and then he was unresponsive. I immediately began CPR. I hate being the one to start cpr by the way----I really don't like hearing the initial rib crack. I deal with it though and move on. I switched places with another medic and was preparing to intubate. The patient to me seemed like he wanted to breat on his own and i could tell he had a gag reflex so i bagged him and waited on the tube. He was than defibrillated at 200 joules. Te fire medic wanted to cardiovert but he was in v-fib and since there were no p waves our brand new life pack 15's would not let him. So he defibrillated at 200 and that was that. The man immediately stopped breathing and that lasted about 2 minutes...the longest 2 minutes i might add. He then began to breath on his own. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I asked him how he was doing-but the answer was obvious. He spoke to me every few minutes or should i say i spoke to him. We brought him back and i was glad. We also obtained the 12-lead and he was having a stemi. We activated the stemi center and brought him in. Once in he was taken to the cath lab where he had a 90% block and coded 3 more times. All in all the guy made it and I am glad! So many times we have these patients and see them talking and we form a sort of bond with them and watchig them die sucks. Its different then having one that was not breathing when we arrive. I guess it is because we personalize it. Tommorow I am going to go see him. I hope he makes it over night!