EMS POEM

EMS POEM
Sorry, if we woke you in the middle of the night,
But someone in your neighborhood was fighting for their life.
Sorry, if we block the road and make you turn around,
But there's a bad wreck with people dying on the ground.
When you see us coming, we hope you'll understand
Lets us have the right-of-way, someone needs our helping hand.
Sometimes a person is choking, sometimes a broken leg,
Sometimes a heart stops beating
And when we get there, it's too late.
So if you see us crying, when we think that we're alone
You'll know we had a "bad one" and were feeling mighty down.
You ask us why we do it?
"How can you watch a child die?
It's never very easy, but we'll try to tell you why.
We don't do it for the money; you see, we don't get paid.
We don't do it for the glory, but for the life that might be saved.
Somewhere deep within us, our souls are crying out.
We are here to help our neighbors in their hours of pain and doubt.
God gave us something special, to help us see you through,
We do it because we love you, and care about you, too.

We are not a TAXI people

Stars

“Perhaps
they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our
lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are
happy.”

Drowning

If anyone read my last post you will be pretty surprised to now that the next day I got a call for a 1 year old drowning. The second we got the call I knew it was meant for me. I just was in complete shock. I had to look at the address about 10 times to make sure it wasn't for my own 1 year old child. It was in the same city I live in and only 2 streets away. The call was for a little girl. She reminded me of Brady. Blond hair and the same size. When we got there one of the firemen ran up and told us to grab a pediatric board. He appeared extremely distraught. My heart was racing as I grabbed the board and proceeded to the pool area. When I seen the little girl I tried the best I could to retain my composure. All I could think about was saving her. I wanted to see her open her eyes and I wanted to hear her laughter. All I could hear was her poor moms cries. It was an accident-all over being overcharged for pizza. She only looked away for a second...Just the way it seems to happen in the news daily. But this time she was lucky. She grabbed her baby out of the spa and started CPR and it worked! She brought her back. And now what I was looking at was an unconscious vomiting little girl. She looked bad but she was alive. We got her on the peds board and she continued vomiting-and I continued turning the board sideways so she would not aspirate. As we were en route to the ER her pulsox dropped quite a bit so I assisted her ventilations with a BVM. It worked and started to bring her sats back up. By the time we got to the Er she was doing much better. Not quite alert yet though. A traumatic experience takes a long time to recover from. Once at the Er I found out this wasn't just any little girl, this was an Er nurses grand daughter-someone I have known for quite a few years. Wow was I in shock to learn that. She cried and I held it in but I wanted to cry too for her-I hate to see people sad. after they had stabilized her they let her hold her. She sang to her. I stood by them and quietly filled out my paperwork. I was comforted by her singing. She lived-She went home a few days later. I am very happy the way this played out. I felt like I was in a euphoric state for the next week. Definitely a different feeling from what I have been used to for the last few months. Watching someone live is such a drastic change from watching someone die. I am so very happy that God chose for her to stay. I needed to see that everything isn't always bad. God knew what I needed to help heal me and I am so greatful for him.

It's okay to cry

"Be encouraged. God sees your tears. Cry them, wipe them, feel them, but don't let them stop you. Its possible to cry AND walk." -Kelly Minter

Another day

I worked yesterday 4 am to 4pm. It was a pretty easy day. First call was a man with liver cirrhosis. He was the yellowest man I have ever seen. He truly looked as if he has a spray tan go bad with expired spray :( The other call we had was for a traumatic injury. Two kids were in the parents room and the mom heard a loud crash and came out to find her dresser and large flat screen television has fallen onto the kids. The boy was 3 and he was basically fine. His leg was only stuck and he had a little pain. The girl wasn't that bad either but she was worse. The tv had fallen on her back and neck and she had some pretty good swelling and a laceration to her neck. She cried a lot on scene and en route to the Er fell asleep. They were both very lucky. All to often these random occurence's can be fatal. When we got to the hospital we walked in with a detective and a coroner...When we continued toPeds they followed along. They were there to pick up a baby who had died. It still is bothersome to me even if it wasn't my transport. As I walked by the room the infant lay in I could see the tiny frame of him under the sheet. I had to get out of there. In the last few months I have had all I can take of Death. Especially of the very young. Sometimes it makes me wonder how long I am going to be able to handle it as well as I do. I have had parents of the kids I tried to save stare at me and beg me to save their "baby" All to often I have to continuously remind myself it's not my emergency. But even so I still do so with tears in my eyes. I have all to often sat in Er bays in with tears streaming down my face....I am not sure if this kind of pain ever truly goes away. The hardest part about helping others is knowing when to stop helping them and when start to help yourself. I also have heard of a lot of drownings lately. I being a mother just can't take much more of hearing of them. I literally look at a pool and want to vomit when I think of my own baby. I have definitely realized no matter what that I will never have a large pool as long as I have a child who can't swim. Maybe my job has made me paranoid....maybe that's not a bad thing. I work 3 shifts next week. I pray that God goes easy on me for a little while. I know that they say that God will not give you more then you can handle but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me soo much!

Kitty

I am pretty sad today. I found out that our cat named Kitty has died. I guess maybe talking a little about might make me feel better so I guess I will try to remember the good things and annoying things she used to do. You would think me being the big bed Paramedic I am LOL. I would not be so hurt. But Kitty was my first pet and my friend. I adopted Kitty from the pound when she was just a baby. I always wanted a pet and never truly liked cats but I lived in an apartment and hadn't much choice so off I went to the shelter to find a friend. I looked at all the kittens and none really stood out to me. I went to the front and asked if they had any more. The lady told me she actually did and it was a baby girl that she cared for in her home and would just about ready to be adopted. She said her name was Rocky. I met Kitty and at once I knew she was the one for me and so I adopted her and took her home. I always wanted a snuggly pet and it's funny because Kitty just wasn't a snuggler :) I accepted it. Kitty and me had a love/hate relationship form the beginning. She shed everywhere, she clawed my new chair, she ruined countless screens but even though I still loved her. We moved a few times with Kitty and every time she just accepted the new location. She never really complained and never ran away. She knew we were her family. We also had a bearded dragon for awhile and a funny kinda traumatizing story happened one day when kitty tried to get the dragon. I caught her a yelled and she jumped up the screen and then the screen fell off. Kitty fell 2 stories and landed in a bush. She was okay. It was one of the only night she slept in her cat bed. We lived in places I worried about her getting hit by a car but it never happened. We worried about her getting in someones car and them accidently taking her away but that to never happened. The last time Kitty was missing was for about 24 hour and I found her in my car. She had even tried to claw her way out......the claw marks still remain. Well recently since we have moved Kitty has not done to much. She has matured from the scratching and had become a real devoted companion. We even took her to audition for the meow mix cat show. I could say her name 50 times and she always replied with a raspy little "meow". She rarely went outside and when she did it was either in the garage or on the porch. Which is why I am soo saddened with the way she died. Our neighbor and a coworker of mine found her in his yard. She was obviously attacked by what was probably a coyote. Not much was left. I don't even know where her collar is.....I miss her soo much. I found a couple poems i thought might make me feel a little better.

Last Night

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.

I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I meowed to you softly as you brushed away a tear,

"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,

You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.

I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.

I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.

I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.

I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.

To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...

In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning

and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,

I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

To Love Again

Oh what unhappy twist of fate

Has brought you homeless to my gate,

The gate where once another stood

To beg for shelter warmth and food?


For from that day I ceased to be

The master of my destiny,

While she, with purr and velvet paw

Became within my house the law.


She scratched the furniture and shed

And claimed the middle of my bed,

She ruled in arrogance and pride

And broke my heart the day she died.


So if you really think, oh cat

I'd willingly relive all that,

Because you come forlorn and thin

Well don't just stand there - come on in!
I will always love and miss my Kitty Precious Rip-July 12 2010