Winnie the pooh

"How does one become a butterfly??"

Pooh asked persively

 

"You must want to fly so much that your willing to give up being a caterpillar,"

piglet replied.......

 

"You mean die??"

Asked pooh

 

"Yes and no" he answered

"What looks like you die but what's REALLY you live on."

 

I am pretty sad today as I have heard of the passing of a friend and coworker's baby girl. Life is so unfair. He has helped so many I really don't understand.

A quick rant

Just wanted to write a short post to say! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. I am so mad I feel like I am getting sick and I have so much to get done this weekend. I had to work the last couple of days and run calls on non-emergent CRAP! I really can't stand people who have the flu and than decide to call 9-1-1 after having it for three weeks! Why you ask don't they just get in their vehicle and drive there? Because they are usually drug seeking, welfare abusers, and out of there mouths come the words "I WILL GET SEEN FASTER"! I mean really, than get in the back and cough all over everything and not cover your mouth so you can make sure to pass it along to me and my partner! Fn idiots!

Attempted Suicide

Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live
I had a very rough childhood full of lies, abuse, and sadness. I have had times that I wanted for it to be over so I can understand the thought of my patients in my next few stories. However I find that suicide is giving up! An easy way out and not fair. especially when you have kids. They don't deserve it.
We got the call yesterday for a hanging. We got to the house and entered to find a younger girl crying talking to the police. She appeared extremely distraught. On the floor in the care of the firemen was a approx 20 year old male. Above the door was a hanging pull up attachment. Hanging from it was a red torn bandana. Apparently the guy took some pills drank some alcohol and tried to hang himself. He lives with his girlfriend they have a school age daughter and she is pregnant again! To me i think he is a coward. He lay on the floor and pretended to be lifeless but he wasn't. He was one of those who want the attention and it was obvious from the beginning or he would not have used licorice as a rope. He had no marks on his neck at all. The guy smelled nothing of alcohol and not a pill in sight. He did not even vomit. I transported the guy to the hospital and he played dead. Once there he kept up his act. A-C-T. Needless to say he was visited by every member of his family and per the staff kept right on playing it up.  He ended being admitted as a 5150. All in all to me he seemed to be attention seeking. If someone wants to commit suicide they do. Bottom Line.
Which brings me to my next call couple of calls...the people who have nine lives. We were dispatched to a call for a vehicle over the side of a cliff. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the scene as it was up in the mountains. We actually had to get out of our ambulance and hike another 10 to the car. We got to the car and found a mid age women. She was still upside down and wearing a seatbelt.The car had severe top damage and passenger space intrusion. I thought she was going to be dead. I thought wrong. She unbuckled her seat belt and proceeded to climb out and say "I'm fine" She had a few lacerations to her face but nothing major. I was able to talk her into transport and placed her in spinal immobilization. We took her to the trauma center....She had no internal injuries at all! Nothing! It wasn't until a few weeks later when we read in the paper what she was trying to do....kill herself. Some people die driving off a 5 foot cliff. She survived a 100 foot cliff. If that doesn't say her time isn't up I dont know what does.
My next story is a man that a friend of mine knows. With all going on in the economy at this time he decided to check out to put it nicely. He too had a wife and kids at home. So the man sets out to the desert with cans of gasoline and a pack of matches. He parks gets out and pours gas all over his truck inside and out including his clothes. He lights the match and it's done. The man wakes up in the hospital 2 weeks later to find a small twisted piece of metal on the bed next to him. The doctor realizing he's awake greets him. The man asks what is this thing and he replies that's what's left of your truck. The man didn't have a burn or scratch on him.
Last but not least the 18th attempt. Code 3 to the psych facility. We arrive to find a woman who took a bedsheet and tied it around her neck and to the door. She was already seizing when we arrived. No one knew how long she was there. We tranported her to the hospital to find out this was her 18th attempt. Her pupils were fixed and dilated and according to doctor's no brain activity noted. 2 days later she was lying in Icu with her family including her young son about 8 years old and they were discussing pulling the plug. When out of nowhere this lady opens her eyes. The doctors came in pull the tube and this lady is 100% normal.
Some people are just not meant to die.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

Today was a pretty rough day at work. Our first came early in the morning. It was for a breathing problem. In a nursing home it usually means one of 2 things when it comes that early in the morning. They are either very bad or they have already expired. We arrived in the room to find the latter. An older women dead in her bed. She was still warm but in asystole on the monitor. She was already gone and she had a dnr....basically meaning its over and there is nothing we could do. I would have been okay to accept that however her roomate behind a curtain might I add spoke out when we entered the room. She said I heard her die. I knew she was struggling and I screamed and screamed and no one came......She went on to say that she was a fighter. I had and still have a knot is the best thing i could call it in my heart over what she said. How could a nursing home, How could a person....i don't care how uneducated they act or how many people make excuses for them...how could a human being sit and ignore a person suffocating. It has been hard for me today to accept the fact that that is what we deal with when it comes to these type of places and it's so very sad. It's sad and it's definitely not fair. I could never see a God that would allow this type of behavior to go unjudged and in order for me to let it go and had to realize such...but i still will never understand.

An Irish poem

Death is nothing at all.


It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

...Everything remains as it was.

The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no sorrow in your tone.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.

There is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

Funeral procession

The week before I received my Paramedic card in the mail made me second guess my decision of ever wanting to become a Medic. I had been working at my company for about a year and a half and became pretty good friends with my boss at the time. He was a great guy, very easy going and I admired him as a paramedic. Well that particular day I was in another city that was not covered by our division but was a part of our division attending a funeral. The funeral was for a 50ish medic who died of a heart attack. Our company is one that is known to be there to support each other not just in our division but as a whole. So that day we were there for support for the family whom we did not know but cared for just the same. It was Me and a few others from my work including my boss who was following our ambulance in the supervisor truck. We were a little late getting up there and were one of the last of the companies to arrive. There were about 50 other ambulance/fire vehicles also there that day. We went in and stayed the duration of the funeral and it was time to head to the cemetary to lay this poor medic to rest. As I have said we were one of the last to arrive so we were also the last in the procession with only one unit behind and my supervisor ahead about 2 ambulances at this time. We slowly drove along heading to the cemetary. There was so many of us so they had quite a few of the roadside police to help direct traffic and keep us safe. It was quite a way to the cemetary and we were driving about for about 30 minutes at this point. We all had our lights on minus siren for obvious reasons to honor this fallen hero. So we are nearing the end of an intersection and one of the road police is on the right of us. Suddenly out of nowhere comes this old beat up car and it tries to pass us on the right. I am not sure what he was thinking because with such a long procession there was no where for him to go. In the process of this he hits the motorcycle cop right in front of our ambulance. The cop flies about 10 feet from his bike and lands on the sidewalk to the left of us. I immediately tell my partner to pull over and call my boss back to help us. I got out of the unit and approached the cop to see that he was severely injured he had a laceration to his head that had uncontrolled bleeding and and multiple open fractures to his tib/fib and femurs. I stayed at his head most of the time talking to him and holding pressure and trying to help ventilate him. I am not sure what he said to me than but I learned that day that sometimes nothing you can do is going to help someone. I felt like since we were there we would be able to save him. I kept talking to him and trying to keep him awake. And thinking back now I don't think he ever really said anything. He just stared at me with these big brown sad eyes pleading with me to help him. I knew he knew that it was over for him. We finally got him loaded on a back board and into the unit and he coded. At the time being just an Emt there wasn't much I could do for him. Thinking back now even if I had my card in hand it wouldn't have changed the outcome. The medic that rode in were my boss and a coworker of mine. They shocked him, he had seizures, they started iv's and gave him drugs and we took him to a landing zone and sent him by helicopter to the hospital. After the call my boss asked me how I was doing....I said I was not doing so good and that I didn't know for sure if this was really the job for me anymore. I thought we were supposed to save people and I didn't deal well with this kind of situation. He basically told me it's not always like this and it gets easier. Looking back now after I have been a paramedic for 7 years I do think it does get easier. I think it's because you learn how to handle it. I wanted to save everyone! I wanted to play God. I hated looking in that man's eyes and watching him die and knowing nothing was going to change it. That was the first time I saw someone actually die before my eyes. I knew the very second he died and his soul left and we never got him back. About 2 weeks later I went to the hospital he was taken to to ask the outcome already knowing and was very surprised to find out that exactly 2 days after he died his best friend was also killed in a motorcycle accident. I know it's kind of strange but in a way I am thankful he wasn't alone. I learned that day that God's plan though sometimes questioned has some type of reasoning to it and that as a paramedic and a person he doesn't want us to bear anything alone.

Christmas Karma

My last call before I left for Christmas weekend will always be a little reminder that Karma is in fact a real.
We received a call at the trailer park for a fall victim. We arrived to the scene a little after the Fire truck. As we approached them they were assessing a lady who was about 50 who had fallen down and possibly hurt her leg. She did not appear to be in pain and she was surrounded by a group of about 5 older neighbors who oh so kindly carried her from the street where she had fallen to the steps of her little trailer. I remember thnking to myself what nice neighbors she has. As I began my assessment of the patient I noticed that her left leg appeared shorter than her right and it had some outward rotation. She also said it hurt a little bit. I saw a tiny bit of blood on her pajama pant leg and told her i needed to see her thigh where the pain was. I cut her pant leg and found a small puncture wound. She was very adamant about not wanting to go to the hospital and appeared very shy when being told she should be transported. She was not even abe to stand alone with pressure on the leg so she had to go. We put her in the ambulance and it was a pretty quiet ride over to the local hospital. She rested and I typed up my run form. When we got to the hospital and had her in a bed I noticed her leg looked pretty deformed to the point where i thought it was 100% fractured and the puncture wound was from her bone that had protruded through when she had fallen. I finished my paperwork gave a report and left the ER. Once outside my Emt partner asked if I knew what happened prior to the fall. I told him no. He than went on to tell me that the lady was across the way at her neighbors house on the porch and out the window they saw her attempting to steal their Christmas gifts. They yelled for her to stop and she ran down the road with them in hand eventually tripping and in the process breaking her femur. I had to run back in to tell the story to the Er staff who definitely got a kick out of the fact that Karma is true and that was why the lady was so quiet after all. She was ashamed. I hope she learned her lesson.

Keep your fork

One of my friends shared this truly cool story with me. It is called Keep Your Fork!






A Woman and a Fork





There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.





Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her."There's one more thing," she said excitedly."What's that?" came the Pastor's reply."This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."





The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked."Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.'





It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork. The best is yet to come."





The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.





At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.





So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.





Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep their fork."Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

12 days of EMS Christmas

The 12 days of Christmas....EMS style






On the first day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... One little ol' Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the second day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... 2mg of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by taking her husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling suicidal, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself and have the big one in the driveway, 2mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... 4 in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has had the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the hospital NOW, Three stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle, 2mg of Narcan for morphine eating Momma, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Five minutes to eat! 4am shuttle call, Three stacked shocks, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the sixth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system, Five Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!!! 4 am Shuttle, 3 zaps to the chest, Gonna have a stomach pumped, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Seven car pile-up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal Mart the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo Dolls, Six reports behind, Five minutes to eat! 4am is way to early, 3 stacked shocks, 2 of Narcan pushed, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Eight flights of steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the elevator doesn't work, 7 cars a crunching, Six reports a writing, Five minutes to eat! 4 AM shuttle, CPR in progress, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Nine blankets needed to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of the house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10 seconds we are outside, Eight flights of stairs, Should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay, Six reports I'm writing, Five minutes to eat! What the Hell time is it, Should have paid the kid, 2mg of Narcan, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the tenth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... Ten minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy figuring out who is going to lunch next, Nine blankets needed, Hope fire department is coming, 7 cars a crunching, Six reports I need to write, Five minutes to eat! Can't you wait till morning, Stick a fork in him, he's done, Man I hope she shuts up,. And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck and maintenance won't take the truck in, Ten minutes waiting, Nine blankets needed, Eight flights of steps to climb, Hope you have Progressive, Give me a new ink pen, Five minutes to eat! 4am is early, 3 leads all show he's dead, 2mg won't touch her, And Grandma who fell and hurt her knee.



On the twelfth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me... A 12 Gauge IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to swing at me, It's really freezing, Hope you choke on your sandwich, 9 blankets for grandpa, How did you get up here in the first place, Man your husband is gonna be pissed, Six reports STILL down, Five minutes to eat! Better than taking them back, Hope I recorded the code, Man, just pass out already, And Grandma who fell and hit her knee.

Some Paramedic quotes :)

Nobody on this planet woulld die or get injured if paramedics didn't eat.


Paramedics save lives, EMTs save paramedics

God made Paramedics and EMT's so that he can change his mind

Lies

I WANT TO TELL YOU LIES


© Kalvere. All rights reserved



I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine

I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time

I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight

I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies



You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids

I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did

You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside

I want to say you'll be OK, I want to tell you lies



You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes

I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind

You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes

I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies



I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke

If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke

Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive

Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies



I want to say she'll be OK, you didn't take her life

I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife

You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive

I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies



You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time

How could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb

I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine

I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies



I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain

Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train

I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life

I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies



You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun

Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done

You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five

I don't want to say she won't see six, I want to tell you lies



He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone

It was only for a second that you left him there alone

If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive

But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies



The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn

And we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned

Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive

But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies



But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through

And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you,

You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine

I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies



~ Kal The Rebel ~



Dedicated to all the Police Officers, Firefighters, EMTs, Paramedics,

Emergency Flight Crews and all civil servants who deal with the tragedies of

life and death. The saddest of all, being those that involve children, and

could have been prevented. Wear your seat belts... Keep poisons, flammables,

fireworks, etc. out of reach of children...Keep your smoke alarm in operating

order, if you don't have one, get one...never, ever drive if you've been

drinking ... never leave your toddler unattended...teens, be responsible

drivers, obey all traffic lights, posted limits, warnings and signals at RR

crossings ... keep your guns locked out of reach, buy a trigger guard....

Protect our children, they are our future... Am I preaching? Am I nagging? I

guess I am just telling it like it is.... Or I could just tell you lies.



~ Kalvere



© Copyrighted to Kalvere. Please do not reproduce without author's permission.



Kalvere is from Minnesota, and would welcome any comments at the KalTheRebel@aol.com



Used with permission. If you see this poem anywhere without the author's name

and copyright information, it is being used without the author's knowledge or consent

Dr Phil's Wife :)

Last night the Ems gods were out to get us again once we were jinxed by my wonderful boyfriend :) I was supposed to be off at 7 pm and it was 640 and of course what happens....107 code 3! I dont really mind being held over though because double time is worth it in this economy! Well we get to the aparment walk to the door and walk on in to find a 20 year old male walking to greet us. The first thing he says is this isn't really an emergency my toes hurt and i woke up to find them this way. His toes looked fine however his nail was peeling off of one. Everything checked out, his vitals were fine so i explained to him. What an emergency is and what the 9-1-1 system is for. I even went on to explain that there is a urgent care 1 block away. His wonderful "wife" who looked about 16 by the way began ranted that this is an emergency to him and that if he were to walk the block away he might drop dead. I assured her in my 8 years as a Medical professional i have never seen someone die from toe pain. I went on to explain an emergency is chest pain a car accident your baby lying on the floor not breathing and that this is nothing more than abuse of the 91-1 System. I let him know we would take him if he wants to go however that we would be taking only him not his "wife" as i did not want her anywhere near my ambulance with her destructive attitude and i was not about to jeopardize mine or my partners safety. Needless to say she ranted and screamed the entire time we were there only stopping to tell me that they have family in Compton and Highland. After i explained everything he got mad said get out of my house. He signed my ama I went out the door! He slammed it  in my face but not before calling me DR PHILS WIFE. Lol I have never laughed so hard in my head. My partner and I ran to the unit with our gear in tow rushed to put the gurney in and got the f out of there!